El Diablito

Back in May, I sought salvation from burrito mediocrity with help from my friend, Jesus. I was left with a bad taste in my mouth and overwhelming emptiness. Today, well... I decided to follow my soul in a different direction.

El Diablito is located on SE Belmont Street between 33rd and 34th in a tiny food cart pod. I was skeptical at first, because the cart itself had such an appealing aesthetic, which can mean overpriced gringo food.  It was just too sterile, and with the slogan: "Not a fusion. A Mexican Revolution" I became even more concerned. But Hell, I was hungry and there were good smells around.

The El Diablito Burrito

Price: $8.00

Ingredients: Chipotle pork, refried beans, cheese, avocado, lettuce, potato stick fries, salsa

Size: Totally filling

Sides: I asked for the habanero and green crema salsas. 

Sometimes, it takes days for me to muster up a halfhearted review... but not this time.

In fact, I just finished this guy and I couldn't wait to post about it! I haven't been so excited about a review in a really long time.

I'm melting right now just by reliving that first moment, when this little devil whispered into my ear and I gave in and embarked down into the fiery abyss of burrito bliss. 

Upon first taste, I was met with the most heavenly mouthful of succulent pork I've had in a really long time. Tender, juicy, exquisitely spiced... Transcending time and space and pleasure and pain.

That pork, holy crap... that pork! It's suppleness and heat was perfectly balanced by the crisp, cool lettuce (just a tiny bit) and fresh avocado. After a couple of bites, another layer of flavor began to effervesce through the porky chipotle, and I realized it was the potato stick fries. Flowing up and down one side of this guy, these crunchy little potato explosions were simply delightful. To die for! They were like super crispy hashbrown morsels, infused with extreme potato flavor. EXTREME! The refried beans were tough to come by, but the ones I did find were scrumptious. The strange thing about this guy was that for all of that pork love, there was no grease. How does that happen? Amazing!

So many layers of intertwined flavors happening here, it was like being spun through a web of everything and nothingness all at once. Like becoming completely lost -yet found- beyond the confines of physicality. I need to take the rest of the day to let this one simmer and swoon and sink back down onto planet Earth.

The Rating

4.5 out of 5 stars

Thank you little devil, for this grand adventure!

Poblano Pepper

Poblano Pepper is located on Belmont in a little food cart pod between SE 42nd and 43rd. I couldn't
resist trying a cart of this name, and I recall a fellow burrito friend suggesting it. They offer all the standard grub, and some enticing extras.

Oh man, I'm getting hungry just thinking about writing this review. I'll be back after I have a snack...










... ok, on with the review!

The Chile Relleno Burrito

Price: $7.00

Ingredients: Chile relleno, pinto beans, rice, guacamole, pico, cotija cheese

Size: Big Papa

Sides: Green and Habanero Sauce

Of course I had to get this one! I assume they know their way around a pepper. High hopes friends, high hopes.

This guy was grilled and sealed like a fat little envelope stuffed with surprises. The tortilla was infused with garlic, adding a nice flavor without being overwhelming.

Delving inside, the shining star of the show was no doubt the chile relleno. It was so fresh, perfectly textured, and spanned the entire length of the burrito. Mmm mm mmmm! The poblano had a hearty meatiness about it, pulling apart enticingly between my teeth with each smokey bite, yummy creamy cheese through its core. The beans and rice were alright, and the guacamole and pico added that lovely cooling touch. 

My husband tried the rajas poblano burrito, which includes a pepper mixed with onion and cream, and I must say it was also quite tasty (if you like a creamier kind of burrito).

The Rating:

What what? 4.2 stars out of 5

Will I return? Why yes, I'd love to try more burritos or just get the relleno again and again until I explode.

Rosita's Place

I found myself trapped on 82nd Avenue, again. In need of some major burrito therapy, I figured if I saw a taqueria, I'd go for it.  As fate would have it, wedged between Papa Murphy's and KFC there's a parking lot with a few food carts, one being Rosita's. This was just North of Powell Blvd. I couldn't figure out where to park, so I circled around and got stuck in a huge strip mall parking maze... but I was eventually able to dig my way out. I'm pretty sure you can just turn right in and park next to the carts if you want, I was just being awkward.

The owners were super friendly and welcoming, and the pictures on the menu were tasty looking. I noticed carnitas was MIA though.

Asada Burrito

Price: $5.50

Ingredients: Steak, rice, beans, fresh salsa, cheese, sour cream

Sides: Green and Habanero salsa

Size: Filling

I opted to take this puppy home, as the weather wasn't the best and I just wanted to eat in peace. 

Upon initial unwrapping, this burrito looked quite appealing. It had that grilled and sealed tortilla wrapping that always adds such a lovely texture and prevents soggy sadness. It's also an indication that whoever made it actually cares, and wasn't rushed into haphazardly throwing ingredients together.

I enjoyed chowing down on this guy. The tortilla had a saltiness that tickled my tongue, and ingredients were nicely dispersed. The steak was tasty, though a couple bites were a little sinewy. There was a bit too much rice- I would have loved more beans instead. It had the perfect amount of sour cream, but more cheese was in order! The fresh salsa was a nice touch. It did what it needed to do, but it didn't blow me away.

The Rating:

3.5 out of 5

Would I go here again? 

Yes, I'd like to try some other things, like the fish tacos (but that's not a burrito).

Taqueria Villanueva

This festive food cart is located on SW 3rd and Oak. We stopped by before going to see the symphony at the Schnitz. Classy, right? They were open on a Sunday, though according to yelp, they are usually closed Sundays. It looks like they are open 10-4pm M-Th and on Friday and Saturday they are open until 3am. Perfect for a post clubbing preemptive hangover cure? I apologize for the absolutely horrid cell phone pictures. I was not prepared for this!

The Chile Relleno Burrito

Price: $6.00

Ingredients: Chile Relleno, beans, rice, pico, lettuce, sour cream, guacamole, cheese

Sides: Red and Green Sauce

Size: Filling

Again, I apologize for the cell phone pictures. I enjoyed this burrito, even after standing in the cold and eating it in the car- it was pretty satisfying. Ingredient dispersion needs improvement. At first I had some really scrumptious bites of cheesy steamy relleno and beans, then towards the middle I got into a lettuce jungle. This burrito had a creamy quality, a smoothness about it- with little hints of spice interspersed. A textural aspect was absent- some nice morsels of meat would have done it, but that's my fault for picking the meatless burrito! Anyway, it was good while sober and would probably make a really nice after hours snack.

The review

3 out of 5 stars.

Would I go here again? Probably, I'd like to give a meatier option a try.

Fernando's Alegria

Click to view large

I returned to my most favorite food cart pod in Portland, my own special Disneyland- The Mercado. It's located on SE Foster and 72nd. As I parked across from this utopic wonderland of delight, the smell of peppers and spice and everything nice permeated into my brain, making me viciously salivate like a monster! I ravaged my way over to the burrito cart, Fernando's Alegria. Alegria means happiness or joy, so let's see if they brought me such feelings of contentment...

Fernando's Special Burrito

Price: $8

Ingredients: Steak, grilled onions, jalapenos, tomato, rice, beans, sour cream, cheese

Sides: Red and green sauce

Size: Monster!

I went on a rant a while ago about 8 dollar burritos. It's tough to rationalize what on earth makes a burrito worth 8 bucks. Some places in town use words like "made from scratch," or "artisanal" to make their burritos sound fancy and worthy of the 8 dollar price tag. Other spots have hip atmospheres with apathetic staff, and for some reason this automatically makes the price higher. Fernando's doesn't do any of these things. They just serve up an honest, hearty, gargantuan burrito. Nearly as wide as it is tall, it took at least 3 bites to make it across one row of this beast. 

The tortilla was kissed with a crispness, which I usually like, but this one cracked and crumbled a lot. The ingredients united playfully on my palate, with the morsels of smoky steak twirling around with the pops of perfectly cooked pinto beans. The grilled onion had an enticing sweet crunch, while the tomatoes added a refreshing splash of acidity. The flavors balanced well, but I would have liked more punch from the jalapenos. I may look like a gringa on the outside, but I can take heat with the best of them. The cheddar cheese was melted against one side of the tortilla, while it should have been more central. Though I usually complain about burritos being too dry, this guy was too juicy. The sour cream liquefied and became muddled with the other ingredients, loosing it's calming creamy coolness. The green salsa tasted like how I would imagine licking the back of an iguana would taste- green, grassy, herbaceous, psychedelic! This dude was dense, and if it did indeed contain rice, I didn't even notice. It could easily be made into 2 meals for the average person. I however, devoured it whole in about 5 seconds with my huge, fat, monstrous mouth.

The Rating:

3.5 out of 5

Would I go here again?

Oh, I'll be back at the Mercado. I have more carts to try!

El Pato Feliz

I reviewed a carnitas burrito from their food bus, El Pato Feliz 2, back in 2013. This is a review for the little restaurant on SE 92nd in Lents, near the current home for the infamous Belmont goats, who were evicted from their previous residence to make way for a mass development (ugh). But the goats are here, and they are still chewing and standing and laying around and you should visit them.

This cute, cozy little spot features a duck collection and orange walls. Those of you who know me, know that my favorite color is orange and I used to be obsessed with ducks, so I was a pato muy feliz myself as I waited on my order.

Asada Burrito

Price: $6.00

Ingredients: Asada, beans, rice, lettuce, sour cream

Sides: 5 tasty salsas!

Size: Gigantosaurus! 

Nothing about this guy really stood out as amazing to me, except for maybe some of the flavor my tasters extracted from the salsas. The asada was standard and the beans basic. There was too much rice and the lettuce was of course, boring. Like it's cousin over at the food truck, I don't think it had cheese? The price to size ratio was impressive, considering the price for a burrito is sky rocketing to upwards of 8 dollars at some places... 8 dollars! EIGHT. DOLLARS. This is becoming a serious crisis, people! Where can a little working class gal like myself find a substantial meal for 5 bucks anymore?

The Rating

3 out of 5 stars. 

Like me on Facebook for ongoing news!

Gonzalez Taqueria

This little taco truck is in the Overlook neighborhood, sitting next to a gas station on Killingsworth, just west of Interstate Ave. I've been wanting to try it for a long time, but it's limited hours (9am-6pm, M-F) have prevented that. So, I was super excited to finally have the privilege. If you don't want to sit in the covered seating area, you can grab a burrito and head over to the bluff for a nice view while you eat. Bring lots of napkins, perhaps a bib.

Waiting in line, I could tell this place was packed with locals who love it. The owners were super friendly and chatting with everyone. They were sweeties.

Carnitas Burrito

Price: $6.50

Ingredients: Carnitas, rice, beans, pico, cheese

Sides: 4 tasty salsas

Size: Perfecto

Upon the initial unwrapping of this burrito, I noted the perfectly toasty tortilla, with its happy little brown freckles smiling up at me. The underbelly, however, was saturated with a greasy sheen. After the first bite, I was a smitten kitten. Luscious, fluffy flakes of braised pork tickled my receptors, burrowing deep into my core, searching out my soul. My heart was set all aflutter as I sampled the wealth of salsa delights. The fresh pico tunneling through the central burrito zone was the perfect counterpoint to the greasy pork. The minimal amount of rice cradled the main ingredients, letting them shine while soaking in the porky juices. Despite the escaped grease, this guy held together fine. Whether it was the humidity or the intensity of flavors, I do not know, but when it was all said and done I had my own glossy sheen- of sweat. Our fluids mingled, my soul was touched... I just might be in love (or lust).

The Rating

4.2 outta 5 stars. I'm drooling over it right now.

Like me on Facebook and message me about your favorite burrito in Portland!

Tacos Chavez Express 2

**WARNING** You may need to repent after reading this one.

Looking to get your jollies on Foster and 52nd avenue? Just across from Devil's Point, and sharing a wall with a shadier than shady lap dance/ jerk off joint, sits this tiny taqueria. I felt a bit dirty sitting here waiting on my enormous burrito, imagining all the nasty men chowing down on their greasy Mexican meat before heading next door or across the street for other festivities. Then, I thought of the women coming here for a quick bite between business ventures, and I felt dirtier still. But you know, to each his own... everyone needs sustenance. Besides, this is what makes Foster so edgy and cool, right? Anyway, this business was very clean and the guy was nice, so don't let location put you off.

Now that I think of it, there seems to be a correlation between strip clubs and cheap Mexican food. They always seem to be in such close proximity... Oh my God, are burritos just the smut of the food world? No! This can't be! They have more class than that, don't they? I know they're cheap and filling, but that doesn't mean they should bring on a cheap feeling.

The California Burrito

Price: $7

Ingredients: Fries, Steak, Pico, Sour Cream, grilled onion

Sides: Red, Green, Habanero Salsa

Size: 10 inches of beastliness.

Yep, you read it right, there were french fries in this burrito. I guess this is a California thing? I've seen these burritos on menus around town, but this is my first time trying one. I've enjoyed potatoes in burritos many a time, just not in fry form. Other burritos on their menu were only 5 bucks, but I felt like being extra fat today.


I did so enjoy this combination of ingredients- the way the fries and steak sort of... melded together to clog my arteries faster. The fries could have been crispier- they were pretty soggy. This wasn't so bad though, because the squishiness allowed them to soak up more steak grease, creating these perfect little sponges of heaven. The steak itself was nicely cooked, though a couple bites had some chewy fat. The menu says it has cheese and guacamole, but I didn't taste or see any. You know what would have made this guy over-the-top disgustingly good? Nacho cheese.

The experience was like watching a movie that's so bad it's good. You feel kind of embarrassed to enjoy it so much, and like your brain is melting because of it, yet you just can't stop watching. Yeah.

The Rating

3 out of 5 stars

Like me on Facebook for continuous burrito coverage!

El Local

Howdy friends! Sorry it's been a while since I've posted. You see, I was in Mexico (aka my heaven), and then there was all that holiday crap going on, but now I'm back and ready to get on with it! Today I was quite hungrily driving around in search of new uncharted burrito territory, when I remembered The Central Eastside Food Cart Pod located on MLK, just south of Stark. I've seen it many times, but never stopped. Thankfully, this little truck was nestled right in the back, and open for burrito business.

Guacamole Carnitas Burrito

 Price: $7.00

Ingredients: Carnitas (pork), guacamole, cheese, rice, beans

Sides: Green mild and greenish yellow hot salsa

Size: GARGANTUANASAURUS!









One massive MASSIVE beast, this sucker was about as big as my head! 4 bites across with each
pass, its girth was approaching that of a regulation football. When you factor that in, the $7 price tag doesn't seem too steep after all.

I've been fooled by big burritos before, so size really doesn't matter much to me anymore. It's not about the size, it's about the flavor, baby! And that, my friends, is where this puppy fell flat. The ingredients were all fresh, nicely layered, nothing wrong with them... they just lacked that punch in the gut! The pork was supple, but my tasters longed for more peppery pig gusto. The guacamole was a nice bonus, but there was too much rice. Another burrito that wasn't bad, but just wasn't murderously good either. If you're looking to feed a small family, or gain 5 pounds in one sitting, this is the place for you though!

The Rating

3 out of 5. 

Would I go here again?

Perhaps I would try the spicy shrimp burrito.

Like me on Facebook for more burrito love!

Chopollos

Click image to view larger

This cart is located in a food cart strip on SW 4th at SW College St. There are plenty of Mexican food options on the PSU Campus. Within a 6 block radius I saw 5: Loco Locos, Taco Del Mar, Tito's Burritos, and 2 carts (there's a Chipotle close by too, I'm sure). What kind of college student wouldn't want a heavenly hangover cure that can be turned into 2 meals for 5 dollars? I choose Chopollos because it was open on a Saturday and it was new to me.

The Chopollo Burrito

I had to try their signature burrito!
Price: $5.00

Ingredients: Chile Relleno, Steak, Rice, Refried Beans, Pico, Cheese

Sides: Red and Green Salsa

Size: Large and in Charge

This puppy was bundled up nicely and had a perfectly grilled outer tortilla crust, giving it a nice hot crispy exterior and inner chewiness.

Each bite was steaming hot, perfect for eating outdoors on a crisp fall afternoon. The inner ingredients were superbly layered, allowing for an equal amount of each to be enjoyed throughout. Copious quantities of cheese oozed from the relleno, and with each bite the strings of wonder stretched from my lips, holding tight until they could reach no further and SNAP! They dangled freely, only to be sucked into my mouth like sloppy ramen noodles. Nothing is much more satisfying than slurping up cheese strings. The relleno was of a more eggy variety than I usually enjoy, but it worked on this guy. There wasn't a ton of steak, which was fine with all the relleno and cheese to be savored, and the refried beans added a comforting toasty yumminess. The menu said it had guacamole, but i didn't taste any. Cheese, cheese, and more cheeeeeeeese!

The Rating: 

4 out of 5 

Would I go here again? Yes.

Please like my facebook page for up to the minute news!

Los Alambres

An oasis in a desert of sketchy car dealerships, Los Alambres is set in the epicenter of Portland's undeniable stretch of societal detritus. We silly inner Portland dwellers pretend 82nd Avenue doesn't exist, unless of course we need to purchase some cheap _____ (fill in the blank with anything). This cart is a few blocks south of Stark, at 1134 SE 82nd, in the parking lot of a Panaderia. Stop by after you shop at Target, or if you're dodging an angry pimp or something...

A wide variety of Mexican fare is offered here, far beyond the typical taco and burrito grub you find at most places. The 17 Torta choices tempt (head cheese, anyone?), and they appear to be the specialty here. I, of course, had to go with a burrito.

Carnitas Burrito

Price: $5.50

Ingredients: Pork, Rice, Beans, Avocado, Sour Cream, Lettuce, Tomato, Cheese

Sides: Red and Green

Size: Big, but not HUGE

Firstly, it took forever for this burrito to come out. I was hungry, drenched from hiking in a downpour, and wanted to be off of stinky 82nd ASAP, and this took... forever! They were out of chicken, which is what my boyfriend had ordered, so I guess they just decided to serve everyone else who came after us first, before asking what we'd like instead. Lame, but hopefully just a one off thing.

Setting aside my angry yelp reviewer style bitchiness, let's get on with the burrito review!

The ingredients all laid nicely within the squishy chewy tortilla, with just the right helping of each- just a little lettuce, a fair amount of cheese, a good hunk of pork. However, nothing blew me away- everything was simply standard. The carnitas lacked that braised crisp edge and inner melty juiciness I love, though it was tender and pulled apart nicely. This undistinguished burrito begged for lots of the smokey red and creamy green salsas to keep it appealing. 

The Rating

3.3 stars. Another average hombre. 

Would I go here again? If I'm ever unfortunate enough to end up in this part of town, perhaps I'd try another option.


Like me on Facebook for more burrito fun!!!

Angel Food & Fun

Located just north of Alberta on NE 60th, this unassuming place is easy to miss- most likely because you aren't even looking for it. Why would you be looking for something you don't even know exists? Well, it's time to change that, my friends.

This mom and pop joint features many unique and delicious sounding dishes from the Yucatan, as well as standard Mexican grub. It was difficult to just get a burrito, but being the burrito junkie that I am, I had no choice.

Azada Burrito

Price: $6.00

Ingredients: Steak, black beans, rice, lettuce, sour cream, cheese, grilled onions, guacamole

Sides: Red and green salsa

Size: Medium

It's difficult for me to write this. My stomach is grumbling and I just want to jump in the car and head back up to this magical out-of-the-way place of food and fun.








So, how can steak... be so luscious? Each finely chopped tidbit sets the mind spinning as you delve through a perfectly crisp outer later, and into the succulent melt-in-your-mouthy center. The hypnotic heart stopping steak is woven into a dazzling medley of steamy black beans and rice. Every mesmerizing bite is infused with melty cheddar cheese. The enticing flavors are further aroused by the adornment of smokey grilled onions. These delectably fresh, well balanced ingredients were placed thoughtfully and lovingly inside their tortilla mother. Every bite is solid and steady, top to bottom. Even the lettuce is delicious. What a breath of fresh air in a land of mid-range burrito madness.

This is the kind of burrito that leaves an impression on you. I find myself gazing into thin air, transfixed, dreaming about a life with her. She is a part of me now, forever and always- our atoms have mingled. Maybe I'll call her. Is it too soon to call her?

The Rating:

4.5 outta 5

Just a little more steak and this one would be sending me to the moon, darlin'.