El Pato Feliz

I reviewed a carnitas burrito from their food bus, El Pato Feliz 2, back in 2013. This is a review for the little restaurant on SE 92nd in Lents, near the current home for the infamous Belmont goats, who were evicted from their previous residence to make way for a mass development (ugh). But the goats are here, and they are still chewing and standing and laying around and you should visit them.

This cute, cozy little spot features a duck collection and orange walls. Those of you who know me, know that my favorite color is orange and I used to be obsessed with ducks, so I was a pato muy feliz myself as I waited on my order.

Asada Burrito

Price: $6.00

Ingredients: Asada, beans, rice, lettuce, sour cream

Sides: 5 tasty salsas!

Size: Gigantosaurus! 

Nothing about this guy really stood out as amazing to me, except for maybe some of the flavor my tasters extracted from the salsas. The asada was standard and the beans basic. There was too much rice and the lettuce was of course, boring. Like it's cousin over at the food truck, I don't think it had cheese? The price to size ratio was impressive, considering the price for a burrito is sky rocketing to upwards of 8 dollars at some places... 8 dollars! EIGHT. DOLLARS. This is becoming a serious crisis, people! Where can a little working class gal like myself find a substantial meal for 5 bucks anymore?

The Rating

3 out of 5 stars. 

Like me on Facebook for ongoing news!

Taqueria El Cazador

Located at lovely SE 102nd and Foster, across from an electrical substation and next to a junk yard, this humble little taqueria is a breath of burritowy fresh air. I find myself wandering further and further to find new burritos these days. Life is just so hard for an old washed up burrito junkie.

Carnitas

Price: $4.99

Ingredients: Pork, rice, beans, onion, cilantro, cheese

Sides: Red and Green Salsa

Size: Medium

Honestly, it's been a while since I actually ate this burrito, and it wasn't incredibly memorable. I'm sorry. Is this the worst post so far? Probably. The pictures are crappy unedited cell phone shots and I can't think of any taste bud teasing adjectives. Don't give up on the me though, people! I'll try harder next time. I just need to find a really good burrito that I haven't tried yet! What's your favorite burrito, guys? Maybe I'm just kind of lonely and talking to myself and hoping internet people will comment about their favorite burritos instead of being mean... I need some inspiration!

The Rating:

2.5 stars out of 5. 

Los Alambres

An oasis in a desert of sketchy car dealerships, Los Alambres is set in the epicenter of Portland's undeniable stretch of societal detritus. We silly inner Portland dwellers pretend 82nd Avenue doesn't exist, unless of course we need to purchase some cheap _____ (fill in the blank with anything). This cart is a few blocks south of Stark, at 1134 SE 82nd, in the parking lot of a Panaderia. Stop by after you shop at Target, or if you're dodging an angry pimp or something...

A wide variety of Mexican fare is offered here, far beyond the typical taco and burrito grub you find at most places. The 17 Torta choices tempt (head cheese, anyone?), and they appear to be the specialty here. I, of course, had to go with a burrito.

Carnitas Burrito

Price: $5.50

Ingredients: Pork, Rice, Beans, Avocado, Sour Cream, Lettuce, Tomato, Cheese

Sides: Red and Green

Size: Big, but not HUGE

Firstly, it took forever for this burrito to come out. I was hungry, drenched from hiking in a downpour, and wanted to be off of stinky 82nd ASAP, and this took... forever! They were out of chicken, which is what my boyfriend had ordered, so I guess they just decided to serve everyone else who came after us first, before asking what we'd like instead. Lame, but hopefully just a one off thing.

Setting aside my angry yelp reviewer style bitchiness, let's get on with the burrito review!

The ingredients all laid nicely within the squishy chewy tortilla, with just the right helping of each- just a little lettuce, a fair amount of cheese, a good hunk of pork. However, nothing blew me away- everything was simply standard. The carnitas lacked that braised crisp edge and inner melty juiciness I love, though it was tender and pulled apart nicely. This undistinguished burrito begged for lots of the smokey red and creamy green salsas to keep it appealing. 

The Rating

3.3 stars. Another average hombre. 

Would I go here again? If I'm ever unfortunate enough to end up in this part of town, perhaps I'd try another option.


Like me on Facebook for more burrito fun!!!

Ole Frijole

Cleverly named Ole Frijole is on the busy corner of NE Killingsworth and 42nd Ave. Charming and inviting in its simplicity, this modest little place offers all of the taqueria standards. The people are beyond friendly, making you feel truly welcome.

Carnitas Burrito

Price: $6.00

Ingredients: Carnitas, rice, pinto (or black) beans, cheese, sour cream, lettuce

Sides: Delicious array of salsas, habanero cabbage, and pickled jalepeno carrots

Size: SUPER filling

Firstly, this may be my favorite array of burrito condiments ever! The hot red salsa had a kick, but not overwhelmingly so. It had this emergent flavor that made me suck on the insides of my cheeks after each bite, in an attempt to extract every possible drop of the spicy goodness. I can still feel it in my taste buds. Do I even need to mention that the habanero cabbage was absolutely brilliant and booming? The green salsa was perfect for soothing the tongue between spicier bites.

Now, for the burrito! The ingredients were fresh and flavorful, merging seamlessly as they swirled around and around in my mouth like an eddying stream. As you can see in my pictures, ingredient dispersion was off, with too much lettuce and sour cream at the beginning. As I progressed onward, more and more flaky pink pork pieces and beany love emerged.

Chowing down on this guy was like reading a good book; foreboding (could this just be another evil lettuce burrito?), mounting pressure (it's getting better...), engaging plot twists (pork, salsa, pork, cheese!), climax (om nom nom nom), and slowly all the loose ends get tied up into a happy ending (FULL BELLY ME FEEL GOOD).

The Rating

3.8 outta 5- there's always room for more pork.

Will I be back? Yes, if I lived closer this would be on my continuous rotation of burrito joints!

Panaderia Cinco de Mayo

Way down south, a little Mexican bakery sits. They just so happen to cook up some authentic Mexican grub as well. Located at 8416 SE 32nd ave, south of Johnson Creek- welcome to Milwaukie!

Carnitas Burrito

Price: $5.50

Ingredients: Carnitas, Refried beans, Pico, Rice, Cheese

Sides: Spectacular pickled peppers and salsas galore!

Size: Medium

The atmosphere felt right, a simple Mexican grocer on the edge of nowhere, making tacos and burritos in the back. Well loved by local taco hunters, I knew it had to be good!

Once again, my preconceived notions got the best of me. This burrito was chock-full of tepid, gristly chunks of meat, many of which were so sinewy that they were damn near unchewable. In my attempt to consume this, I likened myself to a cud-chewing-cow; futilely masticating, a look of disdain on my tired face. The beans were pasty and pointless and cold. The only salvation was the tortilla and the tasty array of condiments.

I seriously hope that I just hit them on an off day, or ordered the wrong thing. I expected so much more from this place, but I've learned that "authentic" most definitely does not equal good.

The Rating:

0.5 out of 5. 

Next time I will go for the pastries.