Upside Down

I've wanted to check this place out ever since it opened last summer. I always said this spot in Brooklyn needed a good taco truck, and what it got is so much more than that! This cart/patio space serves burritos, burgers, beer, etc. and is located on SE Milwaukie and Franklin, south of Powell.

My lovies! Aren't they cute? We went here for a Mother's Day late lunch/early dinner when it was almost 90 degrees. It's a cozy space, and we opted to sit inside out of the sun, but it was quite stuffy. I'm sure they'll get fans going as summer approaches. Besides, I got a free mimosa, so it's all good. I'm going to make a t-shirt that says: "I pushed a human being out of my cooch, and all I got was a free mimosa." Perfect. So worth it.

The Pio Pio Burrito

Price: $7.00

Ingredients: Roasted pork, pinto beans, rice, cheese, sour cream, cilantro, onions

Size: Gigantic!

Sides: Habanero and green salsa

There's just one burrito listed on the menu, but you get to choose your own adventure. Ahem, I mean protein- choose your own protein (or braised greens, if you swing that way). They didn't skimp on the pork in this big guy, and it lived in that magical realm in between tenderness and chewiness; succulence. With a bit of sweetness. The beans were happy little hoppers, and the cheese and sour cream softened it all into a melty blissful jump-for-joy-roll-down-a-hill affair. A hazy, lazy, dizziness takes hold and you curl up beneath the canopy of a warm summer tree. Dream and digest, sweet daisy... dream a dream for me, little deer.

Ha, but yes, it was good! A pop more spice would have been nice, but with a dash of that habanero salsa, it was fantastic.

The Rating

3.9 out of 5.

Yep, I'd go again!

Fernando's Alegria

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I returned to my most favorite food cart pod in Portland, my own special Disneyland- The Mercado. It's located on SE Foster and 72nd. As I parked across from this utopic wonderland of delight, the smell of peppers and spice and everything nice permeated into my brain, making me viciously salivate like a monster! I ravaged my way over to the burrito cart, Fernando's Alegria. Alegria means happiness or joy, so let's see if they brought me such feelings of contentment...

Fernando's Special Burrito

Price: $8

Ingredients: Steak, grilled onions, jalapenos, tomato, rice, beans, sour cream, cheese

Sides: Red and green sauce

Size: Monster!

I went on a rant a while ago about 8 dollar burritos. It's tough to rationalize what on earth makes a burrito worth 8 bucks. Some places in town use words like "made from scratch," or "artisanal" to make their burritos sound fancy and worthy of the 8 dollar price tag. Other spots have hip atmospheres with apathetic staff, and for some reason this automatically makes the price higher. Fernando's doesn't do any of these things. They just serve up an honest, hearty, gargantuan burrito. Nearly as wide as it is tall, it took at least 3 bites to make it across one row of this beast. 

The tortilla was kissed with a crispness, which I usually like, but this one cracked and crumbled a lot. The ingredients united playfully on my palate, with the morsels of smoky steak twirling around with the pops of perfectly cooked pinto beans. The grilled onion had an enticing sweet crunch, while the tomatoes added a refreshing splash of acidity. The flavors balanced well, but I would have liked more punch from the jalapenos. I may look like a gringa on the outside, but I can take heat with the best of them. The cheddar cheese was melted against one side of the tortilla, while it should have been more central. Though I usually complain about burritos being too dry, this guy was too juicy. The sour cream liquefied and became muddled with the other ingredients, loosing it's calming creamy coolness. The green salsa tasted like how I would imagine licking the back of an iguana would taste- green, grassy, herbaceous, psychedelic! This dude was dense, and if it did indeed contain rice, I didn't even notice. It could easily be made into 2 meals for the average person. I however, devoured it whole in about 5 seconds with my huge, fat, monstrous mouth.

The Rating:

3.5 out of 5

Would I go here again?

Oh, I'll be back at the Mercado. I have more carts to try!

Sanchez Taqueria y Panaderia

Venturing beyond the safe, reassuring walls of Portland, further and further Southwest we went; through an endless desolate land of strip malls and cul-de-sacs, ranch homes and parking lots... Until finally we spotted the bright red and green sign on the left side of 99W, with a happy taco mascot welcoming us to this strange, yet homey establishment.

The atmosphere reminded me of some of the spots I visited in La Paz, Baja California Sur. Tiled floors, bright walls, simple tables and chairs. All that was missing was a large central condiment bar of every imaginable salsa and pickled pepper, crema, etc... (Oh man, do I miss Baja).

Carnitas Burrito

Price: $6.95

Ingredients: Pork, rice, beans, onion, cilantro, cabbage

Sides: Red and Green Salsa

Size: Colossal! 

We sat expectantly as a stream of saucy steamy plates of food flowed past us to other eager patrons. Our hunger growing by the second. Then, our mammoth burrito babies finally arrived. So beautiful.

Have you ever received a gift, so exquisitely wrapped, that you were afraid to open it? The tortilla was so warm and light and fresh, it left a fairy dusting on my fingertips that said it was made that morning. 

Have you ever opened that gift, only to find something mediocre inside? You smiled and said "thank you," even though you were disappointed, didn't you? Well, I wasn't blown away by the inside of this guy. It was ok, but I want more pizzazz! Though the carnitas had a nice texture, the flavor was weak and it lacked juiciness. There was too much rice and not enough beans. It needed some cheese, maybe some crema. Haters gonna hate, but I need cheese!!! The salsas were delicious, but I had to rely on them for the added flavor. I think this was a typical case of an establishment having some tasty items, with the burritos being a safety net for the faint of heart. I wish I would have gotten one of the enormous plates of steamy food, or maybe a variety of tacos instead. I had such high hopes, but this guy fell flat. Gimme the greasy spice, gimme the heat! Gimme some fucking cheese!

Thank you.

The Rating:

2.8 out of 5 stars

I hope I just ordered the wrong thing...

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Gonzalez Taqueria

This little taco truck is in the Overlook neighborhood, sitting next to a gas station on Killingsworth, just west of Interstate Ave. I've been wanting to try it for a long time, but it's limited hours (9am-6pm, M-F) have prevented that. So, I was super excited to finally have the privilege. If you don't want to sit in the covered seating area, you can grab a burrito and head over to the bluff for a nice view while you eat. Bring lots of napkins, perhaps a bib.

Waiting in line, I could tell this place was packed with locals who love it. The owners were super friendly and chatting with everyone. They were sweeties.

Carnitas Burrito

Price: $6.50

Ingredients: Carnitas, rice, beans, pico, cheese

Sides: 4 tasty salsas

Size: Perfecto

Upon the initial unwrapping of this burrito, I noted the perfectly toasty tortilla, with its happy little brown freckles smiling up at me. The underbelly, however, was saturated with a greasy sheen. After the first bite, I was a smitten kitten. Luscious, fluffy flakes of braised pork tickled my receptors, burrowing deep into my core, searching out my soul. My heart was set all aflutter as I sampled the wealth of salsa delights. The fresh pico tunneling through the central burrito zone was the perfect counterpoint to the greasy pork. The minimal amount of rice cradled the main ingredients, letting them shine while soaking in the porky juices. Despite the escaped grease, this guy held together fine. Whether it was the humidity or the intensity of flavors, I do not know, but when it was all said and done I had my own glossy sheen- of sweat. Our fluids mingled, my soul was touched... I just might be in love (or lust).

The Rating

4.2 outta 5 stars. I'm drooling over it right now.

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El Local

Howdy friends! Sorry it's been a while since I've posted. You see, I was in Mexico (aka my heaven), and then there was all that holiday crap going on, but now I'm back and ready to get on with it! Today I was quite hungrily driving around in search of new uncharted burrito territory, when I remembered The Central Eastside Food Cart Pod located on MLK, just south of Stark. I've seen it many times, but never stopped. Thankfully, this little truck was nestled right in the back, and open for burrito business.

Guacamole Carnitas Burrito

 Price: $7.00

Ingredients: Carnitas (pork), guacamole, cheese, rice, beans

Sides: Green mild and greenish yellow hot salsa

Size: GARGANTUANASAURUS!









One massive MASSIVE beast, this sucker was about as big as my head! 4 bites across with each
pass, its girth was approaching that of a regulation football. When you factor that in, the $7 price tag doesn't seem too steep after all.

I've been fooled by big burritos before, so size really doesn't matter much to me anymore. It's not about the size, it's about the flavor, baby! And that, my friends, is where this puppy fell flat. The ingredients were all fresh, nicely layered, nothing wrong with them... they just lacked that punch in the gut! The pork was supple, but my tasters longed for more peppery pig gusto. The guacamole was a nice bonus, but there was too much rice. Another burrito that wasn't bad, but just wasn't murderously good either. If you're looking to feed a small family, or gain 5 pounds in one sitting, this is the place for you though!

The Rating

3 out of 5. 

Would I go here again?

Perhaps I would try the spicy shrimp burrito.

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Chopollos

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This cart is located in a food cart strip on SW 4th at SW College St. There are plenty of Mexican food options on the PSU Campus. Within a 6 block radius I saw 5: Loco Locos, Taco Del Mar, Tito's Burritos, and 2 carts (there's a Chipotle close by too, I'm sure). What kind of college student wouldn't want a heavenly hangover cure that can be turned into 2 meals for 5 dollars? I choose Chopollos because it was open on a Saturday and it was new to me.

The Chopollo Burrito

I had to try their signature burrito!
Price: $5.00

Ingredients: Chile Relleno, Steak, Rice, Refried Beans, Pico, Cheese

Sides: Red and Green Salsa

Size: Large and in Charge

This puppy was bundled up nicely and had a perfectly grilled outer tortilla crust, giving it a nice hot crispy exterior and inner chewiness.

Each bite was steaming hot, perfect for eating outdoors on a crisp fall afternoon. The inner ingredients were superbly layered, allowing for an equal amount of each to be enjoyed throughout. Copious quantities of cheese oozed from the relleno, and with each bite the strings of wonder stretched from my lips, holding tight until they could reach no further and SNAP! They dangled freely, only to be sucked into my mouth like sloppy ramen noodles. Nothing is much more satisfying than slurping up cheese strings. The relleno was of a more eggy variety than I usually enjoy, but it worked on this guy. There wasn't a ton of steak, which was fine with all the relleno and cheese to be savored, and the refried beans added a comforting toasty yumminess. The menu said it had guacamole, but i didn't taste any. Cheese, cheese, and more cheeeeeeeese!

The Rating: 

4 out of 5 

Would I go here again? Yes.

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Lonchera Brother Express

Lonchera Brother Express is located on 82nd Ave in the Cartlandia food cart pod. If you're ever biking along the Springwater Corridor Trail and need some fuel, this is the place! The cart has Speedy Gonzalez on it and the sign says "Taco Truck Brother Express." My lovely boyfriend brought this burrito home for me after his jaunt to Home Depot to purchase a lawn mower because our grass (more like, weeds) was over a foot and half tall in places, but that's beside the point.

Carnitas Burrito

Yeah yeah, another carnitas...

Price: $5.00

Ingredients: Pork, beans, rice, cheese, onion, cilantro

Sides: 2 greens (they were out of red)

Size: Busty

The pork was supple, with that liiiiiiiiiiiiittle hint of crispiness along the seared edges- just so. A subtle salt and pepperiness carried that natural pork flavor from my palate right on up into the pleasure receptors of my brain. Who needs yoga and meditation (or medication)- really? All of the daily stresses from my extremely difficult life as a middle class white person just melted away. No amount of downward facing dogs could do that. Seriously. My Chakras were totally aligned (or whatever they do) after this burrito bombshell.

The Rating:

3.8 outta 5

Yuuuuuuummmm Yuuuuuuuummmm Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmm.

Los Taquitos Taqueria

Cute and Colorful Los Taquitos is located at 58th and NE Glisan Street- next to a gas station and entry onto the highway. Be careful not to unwittingly turn onto the ramp for the highway, as you will be sucked down 84 until the nearest exit in Hollywood. Haha...ha.

They have your typical Mexican grub, as well as many veggie options and other interesting entrees.

This place isn't too far from Mt Tabor, so I decided to have a burrito picnic overlooking Portland's poopy water supply. What better than a gorgeous June afternoon spent atop an extinct volcano, burrito in hand? Not much, not much at all.

Chile Relleno Burrito

Price: $5.50

Ingredients: Chile Relleno, Rice, Beans, Pico

Size: Large and in charge

Sides: Salsas, Pickled Carrots and Jalapenos. 

Ok, well, alright, uh, so...

Nothing really blew me away about this burrito. He wasn't bad, but he wasn't breathtaking either. Just your everyday ordinary run and the mill joe. I didn't laugh, didn't cry, didn't really feel anything. He wasn't tangy, spicy, hot, or saucy. The relleno was tender and eggy- but not too eggy. The beans were too pasty, yet had a nice hammy taste.. The salsa accompaniments weren't all that enticing either- the overly liquidy red was all heat with no flavor and the overly thick green was just... strange. It filled my hunger spot for a while, but left me ill with want. 

The Rating

2.8 out of 5

Who I go here again? 

Yes, there are many more burritos in the sea. Perhaps I would try the California burrito, which has steak and french fries on it... edgy. 

Angel Food & Fun

Located just north of Alberta on NE 60th, this unassuming place is easy to miss- most likely because you aren't even looking for it. Why would you be looking for something you don't even know exists? Well, it's time to change that, my friends.

This mom and pop joint features many unique and delicious sounding dishes from the Yucatan, as well as standard Mexican grub. It was difficult to just get a burrito, but being the burrito junkie that I am, I had no choice.

Azada Burrito

Price: $6.00

Ingredients: Steak, black beans, rice, lettuce, sour cream, cheese, grilled onions, guacamole

Sides: Red and green salsa

Size: Medium

It's difficult for me to write this. My stomach is grumbling and I just want to jump in the car and head back up to this magical out-of-the-way place of food and fun.








So, how can steak... be so luscious? Each finely chopped tidbit sets the mind spinning as you delve through a perfectly crisp outer later, and into the succulent melt-in-your-mouthy center. The hypnotic heart stopping steak is woven into a dazzling medley of steamy black beans and rice. Every mesmerizing bite is infused with melty cheddar cheese. The enticing flavors are further aroused by the adornment of smokey grilled onions. These delectably fresh, well balanced ingredients were placed thoughtfully and lovingly inside their tortilla mother. Every bite is solid and steady, top to bottom. Even the lettuce is delicious. What a breath of fresh air in a land of mid-range burrito madness.

This is the kind of burrito that leaves an impression on you. I find myself gazing into thin air, transfixed, dreaming about a life with her. She is a part of me now, forever and always- our atoms have mingled. Maybe I'll call her. Is it too soon to call her?

The Rating:

4.5 outta 5

Just a little more steak and this one would be sending me to the moon, darlin'.

El Gallo

The more I learn, the less I know. For every burrito I eat, another one is being born. Is my quest futile? How can I possibly find the best burrito, when so many exist/will exist/have existed? It's an infinitely whirling conundrum; around and around it spirals, only to fall back onto itself. If I do eat the best burrito that is humanly possible, how will I know it's the one? What is the probability that the best burrito in the Universe, and myself, will exist together in space/time? Null. Zip. Nada. None! The burrito universe is caving in! What to do?!?
                                                                           

Despite my existential crisis, I suppose all I can do is keep on trying, keep on eating. I don't have to go far, before I find myself at El Gallo Taqueria on SE Woodstock and 48th Ave. Local Woodstockians, and Out-of-neighborhooders alike, have made this their staple Mexican food cart. What makes this place so special, you ask? Well, I decided to figure this out for myself. Is it all hearsay, or does this place really offer something to get excited about?

Carnitas Burrito

Contents: Carnitas, pinto beans, Tillamook pepper jack, cojita, cilantro, onions, cabbage

Price: $6.50

Length: 7"

Circumference: 8.75"

Sides: Red, Green, and MELT YOUR FACE salsa



Anticipation. Mouth watering, stomach beginning to eat itself, anticipation. And finally, after several minutes of angsty impatience, fanciful bites of burrito divinity flow into my mouth. Crusty braised porky charm, fluffy spider webby strings of wonderfully chewy, springy, pig flesh. Exploding beans! Cabbage that would mercilessly bash in the heads of any lettuce that came within sight. Hot sauce that could kill a (wo)man. Flaking tortilla freshness. Can Mexican street food served from a food cart be gourmet? If so, this is it. But as many gourmet items go, it wasn't as filling as my disgustingly enormous appetite could have hoped for. Satisfying in so many ways, however.

The Rating

4.2 out of 5

Will I go here again? Soon.

Mi Mero Mole

5026 SE Division

Any business with a huge sign that simply reads "Tacos" is alright by me. The smell of Mexican spices permeating the air in all directions is also a good sign. They have a rotating menu, with varying guisados, which are traditional Mexican stews or stir-fries. You choose which one you'd like, and if you want it in tacos, as a plate, or in a burrito. Intriguing right? Check out their website to view all of their rotating concoctions. As my friend said, "I like how you come here not knowing what to expect." This was my first time here, and in good company.


The establishment itself was impressive. They offer a cozy inviting atmosphere, bad ass booze selection, and fast friendly service. But I'm not here to review that, NOW AM I?








I got to sample 4 different burritos, including:
Albondigas: Pork, beef, and ham meatballs stuffed with boiled egg and stewed in chipotle-tomato sauce
Pollo en Mole Verde: Chicken in green mole
Cerdo con Nopales en Chile Colorado: Pork and cactus in red chile sauce. 
Rajas con Crema: Roasted poblano chiles with sauteed onions in a sour cream and aged cheese sauce.

Rajas con Crema Burrito

 I'll focus on this one for my review.

Contents: (see above) plus black beans and rice

Price: $5.50

Sides: Red Sauce, smokey sauce, green sauce, pickled onions, chips and salsa ($2)

Size: Didn't get exact measurements, but it was a mid-range size- not too small, not enormous.

I had high expectations for a place boasting such evocative and unique dishes. If the description on the menu makes my mouth water, the food itself better be euphoric! The rajas con crema was lively and creamy, and the poblano chiles added a fair amount of piquancy. It also had a savory umami vibe from the aged cheese. However, the rice and beans in the burrito seemed to dull down the vibrant flavor of the sauce. The ingredients all tasted very fresh, and the tortillas are handmade on the spot. The salsas were very distinctive, from the smoky chipotle flavor of the red, to the crisp earthiness of the green. The chips were, as my friend said, "the best chips I've ever had." Overall, I could tell that a lot of work went into making this burrito, but I still longed for a bit more. Dare I say, that next time I'll try a guisado in tacos or as a plate, so that I can experience more of the flavor without the rice and beans holding it back? I do.

 

Rating:

I'm changing my rating system. Keeping it real with one overall rating out of 5 stars. Taste, size, and satisfaction are all taken into account, as well as price for the quality of ingredients you receive.

 My conclusion: 3.9 stars

Will I go here again? Hell yeah, can't wait to try more options.