Upside Down

I've wanted to check this place out ever since it opened last summer. I always said this spot in Brooklyn needed a good taco truck, and what it got is so much more than that! This cart/patio space serves burritos, burgers, beer, etc. and is located on SE Milwaukie and Franklin, south of Powell.

My lovies! Aren't they cute? We went here for a Mother's Day late lunch/early dinner when it was almost 90 degrees. It's a cozy space, and we opted to sit inside out of the sun, but it was quite stuffy. I'm sure they'll get fans going as summer approaches. Besides, I got a free mimosa, so it's all good. I'm going to make a t-shirt that says: "I pushed a human being out of my cooch, and all I got was a free mimosa." Perfect. So worth it.

The Pio Pio Burrito

Price: $7.00

Ingredients: Roasted pork, pinto beans, rice, cheese, sour cream, cilantro, onions

Size: Gigantic!

Sides: Habanero and green salsa

There's just one burrito listed on the menu, but you get to choose your own adventure. Ahem, I mean protein- choose your own protein (or braised greens, if you swing that way). They didn't skimp on the pork in this big guy, and it lived in that magical realm in between tenderness and chewiness; succulence. With a bit of sweetness. The beans were happy little hoppers, and the cheese and sour cream softened it all into a melty blissful jump-for-joy-roll-down-a-hill affair. A hazy, lazy, dizziness takes hold and you curl up beneath the canopy of a warm summer tree. Dream and digest, sweet daisy... dream a dream for me, little deer.

Ha, but yes, it was good! A pop more spice would have been nice, but with a dash of that habanero salsa, it was fantastic.

The Rating

3.9 out of 5.

Yep, I'd go again!

Tacos Salazar

In a strange vortex where the suburbs mingle with the countryside, a little food cart sits like a mirage in the parking lot of a country store. At the intersection of Hwy 224 and 212, you'll find Tacos Salazar. Google says the address is: 15252 OR-224, Damascus, OR 97089

Why would you find yourself way out in these parts, you ask? Perhaps you are on your way home after some recreating along the Clackamas River, or you had to go to the DEQ. Maybe you work in horticulture or needed to pick up gravel or some sort of oil tank. Maybe you just want a tasty, unpretentious burrito.

Chile Relleno Burrito

Price: $6.50

Ingredients: Chile relleno, pinto beans, rice, cheese, creme

Size: Large

Sides: Red and green salsa

Wrapped up like Christmas came early, this hefty guy was brimming with pinto beans. As I delicately lifted half and unwrapped the paper, steam wafted up into the cool fall air and my heart was set aflutter.

The toothsome tortilla was salty and fresh, with that light toasty texture that lives in perfection between flaky and squishy. The chile relleno had a wondrously crisp outer layer, and the pepper was fleshy and cooked just right. A wee bit more cheese at its core would have put it over the top. The stem was still attached, so I got a surprising bite there at the end and had to dig it out of my mouth. Enticing, right? Ingredient dispersion couldn't have been better, and mmm... the red salsa actually had some heat to it!

The Rating

4 out of 5.

Even with the stem, this one was damn tasty.

Sanchez Taqueria y Panaderia

Venturing beyond the safe, reassuring walls of Portland, further and further Southwest we went; through an endless desolate land of strip malls and cul-de-sacs, ranch homes and parking lots... Until finally we spotted the bright red and green sign on the left side of 99W, with a happy taco mascot welcoming us to this strange, yet homey establishment.

The atmosphere reminded me of some of the spots I visited in La Paz, Baja California Sur. Tiled floors, bright walls, simple tables and chairs. All that was missing was a large central condiment bar of every imaginable salsa and pickled pepper, crema, etc... (Oh man, do I miss Baja).

Carnitas Burrito

Price: $6.95

Ingredients: Pork, rice, beans, onion, cilantro, cabbage

Sides: Red and Green Salsa

Size: Colossal! 

We sat expectantly as a stream of saucy steamy plates of food flowed past us to other eager patrons. Our hunger growing by the second. Then, our mammoth burrito babies finally arrived. So beautiful.

Have you ever received a gift, so exquisitely wrapped, that you were afraid to open it? The tortilla was so warm and light and fresh, it left a fairy dusting on my fingertips that said it was made that morning. 

Have you ever opened that gift, only to find something mediocre inside? You smiled and said "thank you," even though you were disappointed, didn't you? Well, I wasn't blown away by the inside of this guy. It was ok, but I want more pizzazz! Though the carnitas had a nice texture, the flavor was weak and it lacked juiciness. There was too much rice and not enough beans. It needed some cheese, maybe some crema. Haters gonna hate, but I need cheese!!! The salsas were delicious, but I had to rely on them for the added flavor. I think this was a typical case of an establishment having some tasty items, with the burritos being a safety net for the faint of heart. I wish I would have gotten one of the enormous plates of steamy food, or maybe a variety of tacos instead. I had such high hopes, but this guy fell flat. Gimme the greasy spice, gimme the heat! Gimme some fucking cheese!

Thank you.

The Rating:

2.8 out of 5 stars

I hope I just ordered the wrong thing...

Like me on Facebook for everlasting love.

Lonchera Brother Express

Lonchera Brother Express is located on 82nd Ave in the Cartlandia food cart pod. If you're ever biking along the Springwater Corridor Trail and need some fuel, this is the place! The cart has Speedy Gonzalez on it and the sign says "Taco Truck Brother Express." My lovely boyfriend brought this burrito home for me after his jaunt to Home Depot to purchase a lawn mower because our grass (more like, weeds) was over a foot and half tall in places, but that's beside the point.

Carnitas Burrito

Yeah yeah, another carnitas...

Price: $5.00

Ingredients: Pork, beans, rice, cheese, onion, cilantro

Sides: 2 greens (they were out of red)

Size: Busty

The pork was supple, with that liiiiiiiiiiiiittle hint of crispiness along the seared edges- just so. A subtle salt and pepperiness carried that natural pork flavor from my palate right on up into the pleasure receptors of my brain. Who needs yoga and meditation (or medication)- really? All of the daily stresses from my extremely difficult life as a middle class white person just melted away. No amount of downward facing dogs could do that. Seriously. My Chakras were totally aligned (or whatever they do) after this burrito bombshell.

The Rating:

3.8 outta 5

Yuuuuuuummmm Yuuuuuuuummmm Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmm.

Taco Express

Just a nondescript taco truck sitting humble and hopeful between Reed College and the train tracks. Bringing blue collar workers and trust funding liberal arts students together on the corner of SE Steele and 26th since April, 2012! It's also near Gigantic Brewing- YAY BEER!

The Breakfast Burrito

Price: $3.99

Ingredients: Egg, Cheese, Sausage

Size: Small

Sides: Red salsas

A very simple concoction- with fried egg over medium, standard american style sausage, and cheddar cheese. Wrapped and then sliced in half- the cheese stretches into endless strings as you pull the halves apart. Fun.

When I asked if the sausage was chorizo, I was told "yeah, something like that, it's very good." It could have been Jimmy Dean's for all I know, but it definitely wasn't spicy Mexican chorizo. But, it wasn't so bad- and it was cute and salty. The hot sauce was its saving grace.

The Rating:

2.9 outta 5

Not fantastic, not horrible.

Pepino's

Pepino's is located at 3832 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The decor is reminiscent of unicorn innards, a faint smell of urine hangs in the air, and the tables are always sticky. Home away from home, am I right? Disregarding the food completely, I must say I am glad this place exists. When you are overcome by the devastatingly kitschy, soul-suffocating atmosphere of the Hawthorne shopping district, you can hide here. Not to say that it is relaxing in any way, it just makes for an escape from the fashionably unfashionable 20-somethings, slowly meandering middle-aged-window-shopping-women, begging street kids (need a buck for a beer man... I ain't gonna lie), and canvassers on every corner. After you order your food, just sit back in your little booth, and watch the world go by the window with a glint of indignation in your eyes.

Carnitas Burrito

Ingredients: Carnitas, Pinto Beans, Rice, Salsa Fresca, Cheese OR Sour cream  

Price: $6.90*

Sides: Fun Salsas, Pickled jalapeno carrots, Chips

Size: Big

*$5.95, but I asked for cheese AND sour cream, so they added .95 to the price. You really want me to choose between those toppings? INSANITY!

Well... Everything about this burrito was only MEH. The pork was rather dry. The rice and beans were bland. The tortilla was floppy, and liquid drizzled steadily out of the bottom after the first bite. The cheese was great, and for 95 extra cents, it damn well better be! Edible, it was. Delectable, no. The assortment at the salsa bar is enticing, and you'll need lots of it. The chips and salsa fresca made a nice combination. I should have gotten the "El Cheapo Burrito," which only costs $3.50. If you're going to get a humdrum burrito, it may as well be cheap.

Rating:

2 outta 5. 

Will I go here again?

Next time I'm loosing my mind on Hawthorne. Baja fish tacos are better.