Pepino's

Pepino's is located at 3832 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The decor is reminiscent of unicorn innards, a faint smell of urine hangs in the air, and the tables are always sticky. Home away from home, am I right? Disregarding the food completely, I must say I am glad this place exists. When you are overcome by the devastatingly kitschy, soul-suffocating atmosphere of the Hawthorne shopping district, you can hide here. Not to say that it is relaxing in any way, it just makes for an escape from the fashionably unfashionable 20-somethings, slowly meandering middle-aged-window-shopping-women, begging street kids (need a buck for a beer man... I ain't gonna lie), and canvassers on every corner. After you order your food, just sit back in your little booth, and watch the world go by the window with a glint of indignation in your eyes.

Carnitas Burrito

Ingredients: Carnitas, Pinto Beans, Rice, Salsa Fresca, Cheese OR Sour cream  

Price: $6.90*

Sides: Fun Salsas, Pickled jalapeno carrots, Chips

Size: Big

*$5.95, but I asked for cheese AND sour cream, so they added .95 to the price. You really want me to choose between those toppings? INSANITY!

Well... Everything about this burrito was only MEH. The pork was rather dry. The rice and beans were bland. The tortilla was floppy, and liquid drizzled steadily out of the bottom after the first bite. The cheese was great, and for 95 extra cents, it damn well better be! Edible, it was. Delectable, no. The assortment at the salsa bar is enticing, and you'll need lots of it. The chips and salsa fresca made a nice combination. I should have gotten the "El Cheapo Burrito," which only costs $3.50. If you're going to get a humdrum burrito, it may as well be cheap.

Rating:

2 outta 5. 

Will I go here again?

Next time I'm loosing my mind on Hawthorne. Baja fish tacos are better.

La Jarochita

La Jarochita is located near SW 5th and Oak in one of Portland's many food cart pods. Popular among the downtown crowd, expect a line during weekday lunch hours. However, if you are looking to skip an absurd 2 hour long wait for Saturday brunch, this is a nice spot to grab a quick, no hassle breakfast burrito. That's what I did!

Breakfast Burrito #4

Ingredients: ham (or meat of your choice), eggs, potatoes, peppers,
onions, mushrooms, cheese, sour cream

Price: $4.99

Sides: Red and Green

Size: NOM NOM

A steamy, juicy, hot-off-the-skillet love bomb. The ingredients; diced well and sizzled up together, plopped lovingly in a greasy steamy heap, topped with melty cheese and sour cream, and wrapped tightly in a warm cuddly tortilla blanket. As I bit into my little bundle of joy, its warmth filled my stomach, my thoughts, my soul. Soothingly, silently, I chowed down with purpose, and was lifted into an ethereal whimsical wonderland of salty stillness. Dreams. Memories. Childhood. A crisp autumn evening and a warm bowl of soup. The unsettling burden of adult complexity, becalmed. Peace.

Ok, maybe I'm getting grotesquely lyrical here. Good food does this to me. Burritos are my comfort, my soul food. When a good one comes around, my head floats away and my eyeballs glow.

Even in my dream-state ecstasy, this burrito got a little soggy and floppy towards the end- perhaps a little too juicy? Though the flavors all melded really well together, it was too salty at times. Being my first review of a breakfast burrito, I can't help but imagine that an even better one awaits! Pure burrito bliss? Almost...

The Rating

3.7 out of 5

Will I go here again? After writing this review, I want to right now!