Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Lonchera Brother Express

Lonchera Brother Express is located on 82nd Ave in the Cartlandia food cart pod. If you're ever biking along the Springwater Corridor Trail and need some fuel, this is the place! The cart has Speedy Gonzalez on it and the sign says "Taco Truck Brother Express." My lovely boyfriend brought this burrito home for me after his jaunt to Home Depot to purchase a lawn mower because our grass (more like, weeds) was over a foot and half tall in places, but that's beside the point.

Carnitas Burrito

Yeah yeah, another carnitas...

Price: $5.00

Ingredients: Pork, beans, rice, cheese, onion, cilantro

Sides: 2 greens (they were out of red)

Size: Busty

The pork was supple, with that liiiiiiiiiiiiittle hint of crispiness along the seared edges- just so. A subtle salt and pepperiness carried that natural pork flavor from my palate right on up into the pleasure receptors of my brain. Who needs yoga and meditation (or medication)- really? All of the daily stresses from my extremely difficult life as a middle class white person just melted away. No amount of downward facing dogs could do that. Seriously. My Chakras were totally aligned (or whatever they do) after this burrito bombshell.

The Rating:

3.8 outta 5

Yuuuuuuummmm Yuuuuuuuummmm Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmm.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Torres de Morelos

Conveniently located on bustling Powell Blvd at SE 31st between a brewpub and a strip club, a mechanic and a cheap hotel. Who could ask for more? Heh. This truck offers every part of an animal you could want!

Carnitas Burrito

Price: $5.00
Ingredients: Pork, beans, rice, cheese
Size: Mondo
Sides: Red and Green Salsa

This was one giant lumpy son of a biz-natch. Huge? Yes. Tasty? No. Greasy chewy flavorless meat. There's not much worse than getting 1/2 way through a burrito and realizing you just can't eat anymore. I have nothing else to say.

The Rating:

0.7 out of 5

Taco Express

Just a nondescript taco truck sitting humble and hopeful between Reed College and the train tracks. Bringing blue collar workers and trust funding liberal arts students together on the corner of SE Steele and 26th since April, 2012! It's also near Gigantic Brewing- YAY BEER!

The Breakfast Burrito

Price: $3.99

Ingredients: Egg, Cheese, Sausage

Size: Small

Sides: Red salsas

A very simple concoction- with fried egg over medium, standard american style sausage, and cheddar cheese. Wrapped and then sliced in half- the cheese stretches into endless strings as you pull the halves apart. Fun.

When I asked if the sausage was chorizo, I was told "yeah, something like that, it's very good." It could have been Jimmy Dean's for all I know, but it definitely wasn't spicy Mexican chorizo. But, it wasn't so bad- and it was cute and salty. The hot sauce was its saving grace.

The Rating:

2.9 outta 5

Not fantastic, not horrible.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Los Taquitos Taqueria

Cute and Colorful Los Taquitos is located at 58th and NE Glisan Street- next to a gas station and entry onto the highway. Be careful not to unwittingly turn onto the ramp for the highway, as you will be sucked down 84 until the nearest exit in Hollywood. Haha...ha.

They have your typical Mexican grub, as well as many veggie options and other interesting entrees.

This place isn't too far from Mt Tabor, so I decided to have a burrito picnic overlooking Portland's poopy water supply. What better than a gorgeous June afternoon spent atop an extinct volcano, burrito in hand? Not much, not much at all.

Chile Relleno Burrito

Price: $5.50

Ingredients: Chile Relleno, Rice, Beans, Pico

Size: Large and in charge

Sides: Salsas, Pickled Carrots and Jalapenos. 

Ok, well, alright, uh, so...

Nothing really blew me away about this burrito. He wasn't bad, but he wasn't breathtaking either. Just your everyday ordinary run and the mill joe. I didn't laugh, didn't cry, didn't really feel anything. He wasn't tangy, spicy, hot, or saucy. The relleno was tender and eggy- but not too eggy. The beans were too pasty, yet had a nice hammy taste.. The salsa accompaniments weren't all that enticing either- the overly liquidy red was all heat with no flavor and the overly thick green was just... strange. It filled my hunger spot for a while, but left me ill with want. 

The Rating

2.8 out of 5

Who I go here again? 

Yes, there are many more burritos in the sea. Perhaps I would try the California burrito, which has steak and french fries on it... edgy. 

Monday, May 26, 2014

Angel Food & Fun

Located just north of Alberta on NE 60th, this unassuming place is easy to miss- most likely because you aren't even looking for it. Why would you be looking for something you don't even know exists? Well, it's time to change that, my friends.

This mom and pop joint features many unique and delicious sounding dishes from the Yucatan, as well as standard Mexican grub. It was difficult to just get a burrito, but being the burrito junkie that I am, I had no choice.

Azada Burrito

Price: $6.00

Ingredients: Steak, black beans, rice, lettuce, sour cream, cheese, grilled onions, guacamole

Sides: Red and green salsa

Size: Medium

It's difficult for me to write this. My stomach is grumbling and I just want to jump in the car and head back up to this magical out-of-the-way place of food and fun.

So, how can steak... be so luscious? Each finely chopped tidbit sets the mind spinning as you delve through a perfectly crisp outer later, and into the succulent melt-in-your-mouthy center. The hypnotic heart stopping steak is woven into a dazzling medley of steamy black beans and rice. Every mesmerizing bite is infused with melty cheddar cheese. The enticing flavors are further aroused by the adornment of smokey grilled onions. These delectably fresh, well balanced ingredients were placed thoughtfully and lovingly inside their tortilla mother. Every bite is solid and steady, top to bottom. Even the lettuce is delicious. What a breath of fresh air in a land of mid-range burrito madness.

This is the kind of burrito that leaves an impression on you. I find myself gazing into thin air, transfixed, dreaming about a life with her. She is a part of me now, forever and always- our atoms have mingled. Maybe I'll call her. Is it too soon to call her?

The Rating:

4.5 outta 5

Just a little more steak and this one would be sending me to the moon, darlin'.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Left Coast Siesta

You've just spent a gorgeous day hopping in and out of frothy ice cold waves and searching for unbroken sand dollars. You hiked through a tangled stumpy rain forest and out into a rocky cove, and found yourself among many like you; sipping beer and letting their dogs run free in the breeze.

But now the sun is dipping below the horizon, and your stomach is howling. You head into the town of Manzanita, to a little "healthy" Mexican eatery called Left Coast Siesta. You'll find it next to the organic grocer and patchouli infused spa.

Spicy Pork Burrito

Price: $6.50

Ingredients: Pork, refried beans, lettuce, cheese, sour cream, tomatoes, olives, sunflower seeds, hot sauce

Sides: Chips, Salsa and Guacamole $3.50

Size: Honkin'

No, don't adjust your monitors- this is a green burrito. I opted for the spinach tortilla. This is one of those places where you have a lot of choices. I got everything on it, sans rice.  

Touted as a healthy hippie burrito, which I found to be only partly true. It was like eating a cheap salad slathered in sour cream on one side, with beans and  meat on the other side. The pork had a good spice, and the beans were acceptable. Having olives on a burrito was... strange. The tortilla was chewy and sticky, and didn't have the integrity to hold the ingredients safely inside throughout consumption. By the end it was just a soggy drippy glob, but with shameful sorrow and a beany face, I kept eating.

There was too much going on with this burrito, including the addition of sunflower seeds. Yes, sunflower seeds. So, perhaps I shouldn't have opted for everything on it... but I had to. It wasn't exactly a healthy new age burrito- no tempeh or kale or buckwheat... but it wasn't a classic meat-and-cheese bomb either. So, what was it? WHAT WAS IT?!?!?!

Despite all of the confusion, at the end of a long day at the beach, it was pretty satisfying. The price was right for food on the coast, and it was sizable.

The Rating

2.9 out of 5. 

Would I go back? Oh, probably, maybe because of memories... damn memories!!! This is supposed to be objective... Sorry. Go make your own memories!

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Ole Frijole

Cleverly named Ole Frijole is on the busy corner of NE Killingsworth and 42nd Ave. Charming and inviting in its simplicity, this modest little place offers all of the taqueria standards. The people are beyond friendly, making you feel truly welcome.

Carnitas Burrito

Price: $6.00

Ingredients: Carnitas, rice, pinto (or black) beans, cheese, sour cream, lettuce

Sides: Delicious array of salsas, habanero cabbage, and pickled jalepeno carrots

Size: SUPER filling

Firstly, this may be my favorite array of burrito condiments ever! The hot red salsa had a kick, but not overwhelmingly so. It had this emergent flavor that made me suck on the insides of my cheeks after each bite, in an attempt to extract every possible drop of the spicy goodness. I can still feel it in my taste buds. Do I even need to mention that the habanero cabbage was absolutely brilliant and booming? The green salsa was perfect for soothing the tongue between spicier bites.

Now, for the burrito! The ingredients were fresh and flavorful, merging seamlessly as they swirled around and around in my mouth like an eddying stream. As you can see in my pictures, ingredient dispersion was off, with too much lettuce and sour cream at the beginning. As I progressed onward, more and more flaky pink pork pieces and beany love emerged.

Chowing down on this guy was like reading a good book; foreboding (could this just be another evil lettuce burrito?), mounting pressure (it's getting better...), engaging plot twists (pork, salsa, pork, cheese!), climax (om nom nom nom), and slowly all the loose ends get tied up into a happy ending (FULL BELLY ME FEEL GOOD).

The Rating

3.8 outta 5- there's always room for more pork.

Will I be back? Yes, if I lived closer this would be on my continuous rotation of burrito joints!