Sunday, November 9, 2014

Chopollos

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This cart is located in a food cart strip on SW 4th at SW College St. There are plenty of Mexican food options on the PSU Campus. Within a 6 block radius I saw 5: Loco Locos, Taco Del Mar, Tito's Burritos, and 2 carts (there's a Chipotle close by too, I'm sure). What kind of college student wouldn't want a heavenly hangover cure that can be turned into 2 meals for 5 dollars? I choose Chopollos because it was open on a Saturday and it was new to me.

The Chopollo Burrito



I had to try their signature burrito!
Price: $5.00

Ingredients: Chile Relleno, Steak, Rice, Refried Beans, Pico, Cheese

Sides: Red and Green Salsa

Size: Large and in Charge

This puppy was bundled up nicely and had a perfectly grilled outer tortilla crust, giving it a nice hot crispy exterior and inner chewiness.

Each bite was steaming hot, perfect for eating outdoors on a crisp fall afternoon. The inner ingredients were superbly layered, allowing for an equal amount of each to be enjoyed throughout. Copious quantities of cheese oozed from the relleno, and with each bite the strings of wonder stretched from my lips, holding tight until they could reach no further and SNAP! They dangled freely, only to be sucked into my mouth like sloppy ramen noodles. Nothing is much more satisfying than slurping up cheese strings. The relleno was of a more eggy variety than I usually enjoy, but it worked on this guy. There wasn't a ton of steak, which was fine with all the relleno and cheese to be savored, and the refried beans added a comforting toasty yumminess. The menu said it had guacamole, but i didn't taste any. Cheese, cheese, and more cheeeeeeeese!


The Rating: 


4 out of 5 

Would I go here again? Yes.

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Saturday, October 11, 2014

Los Alambres


An oasis in a desert of sketchy car dealerships, Los Alambres is set in the epicenter of Portland's undeniable stretch of societal detritus. We silly inner Portland dwellers pretend 82nd Avenue doesn't exist, unless of course we need to purchase some cheap _____ (fill in the blank with anything). This cart is a few blocks south of Stark, at 1134 SE 82nd, in the parking lot of a Panaderia. Stop by after you shop at Target, or if you're dodging an angry pimp or something...


A wide variety of Mexican fare is offered here, far beyond the typical taco and burrito grub you find at most places. The 17 Torta choices tempt (head cheese, anyone?), and they appear to be the specialty here. I, of course, had to go with a burrito.

Carnitas Burrito


Price: $5.50

Ingredients: Pork, Rice, Beans, Avocado, Sour Cream, Lettuce, Tomato, Cheese

Sides: Red and Green

Size: Big, but not HUGE









Firstly, it took forever for this burrito to come out. I was hungry, drenched from hiking in a downpour, and wanted to be off of stinky 82nd ASAP, and this took... forever! They were out of chicken, which is what my boyfriend had ordered, so I guess they just decided to serve everyone else who came after us first, before asking what we'd like instead. Lame, but hopefully just a one off thing.

Setting aside my angry yelp reviewer style bitchiness, let's get on with the burrito review!

The ingredients all laid nicely within the squishy chewy tortilla, with just the right helping of each- just a little lettuce, a fair amount of cheese, a good hunk of pork. However, nothing blew me away- everything was simply standard. The carnitas lacked that braised crisp edge and inner melty juiciness I love, though it was tender and pulled apart nicely. This undistinguished burrito begged for lots of the smokey red and creamy green salsas to keep it appealing. 

The Rating


3.3 stars. Another average hombre. 

Would I go here again? If I'm ever unfortunate enough to end up in this part of town, perhaps I'd try another option.


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Friday, August 22, 2014

Don Pedro

Don Pedro is yet another Mexican food cart downtown. It's located on SW 5th between Stark and Oak Street. They were open on Sunday, so that's a plus.

My job is really hard you guys. There are so many burritos out there, and it's tough to sort through them! I find myself  heading to my favorite spots again and again, when I know I need to be exploring. I just hate being disappointed over and over with plain old saggy burritos. Anyone can wrap some shit up in a tortilla and sell it for 5 bucks to some schmuck off the street. I want QUALITY, mouth watering, perfectly cooked ingredients wrapped in a scrumptious tortilla, artfully and lovingly so. I'm tired of mediocrity, dammit!

Well, on with the review...

Fajita Burrito



Price: $6.00

Ingredients: Steak, veggies, rice, beans, sour cream, salsa

Sides: red and green salsa

Size: Phat.

























Ok, so after my rant you're probably thinking this burrito has tipped me over the edge, and you'd be right to assume so. It wasn't horrible or anything, just another regular old burrito... lacking flavor and chock-full-o-rice. Every bite had a strange sweet undertone- perhaps from the red pepper? Not enough beans, and the lackluster steak was too greasy. Oh yeah, and there wasn't any cheese on it. You have to pay extra for that. Sad. The sour cream did that thing where it separates, or curdles... unappetizing.



The Rating


1.3 outta 5 stars

:-(



Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Lonchera Brother Express

Lonchera Brother Express is located on 82nd Ave in the Cartlandia food cart pod. If you're ever biking along the Springwater Corridor Trail and need some fuel, this is the place! The cart has Speedy Gonzalez on it and the sign says "Taco Truck Brother Express." My lovely boyfriend brought this burrito home for me after his jaunt to Home Depot to purchase a lawn mower because our grass (more like, weeds) was over a foot and half tall in places, but that's beside the point.

Carnitas Burrito



Yeah yeah, another carnitas...

Price: $5.00

Ingredients: Pork, beans, rice, cheese, onion, cilantro

Sides: 2 greens (they were out of red)

Size: Busty


The pork was supple, with that liiiiiiiiiiiiittle hint of crispiness along the seared edges- just so. A subtle salt and pepperiness carried that natural pork flavor from my palate right on up into the pleasure receptors of my brain. Who needs yoga and meditation (or medication)- really? All of the daily stresses from my extremely difficult life as a middle class white person just melted away. No amount of downward facing dogs could do that. Seriously. My Chakras were totally aligned (or whatever they do) after this burrito bombshell.

The Rating:

3.8 outta 5

Yuuuuuuummmm Yuuuuuuuummmm Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmm.


Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Torres de Morelos



Conveniently located on bustling Powell Blvd at SE 31st between a brewpub and a strip club, a mechanic and a cheap hotel. Who could ask for more? Heh. This truck offers every part of an animal you could want!

Carnitas Burrito




Price: $5.00
Ingredients: Pork, beans, rice, cheese
Size: Mondo
Sides: Red and Green Salsa



This was one giant lumpy son of a biz-natch. Huge? Yes. Tasty? No. Greasy chewy flavorless meat. There's not much worse than getting 1/2 way through a burrito and realizing you just can't eat anymore. I have nothing else to say.

The Rating:

0.7 out of 5



Taco Express

Just a nondescript taco truck sitting humble and hopeful between Reed College and the train tracks. Bringing blue collar workers and trust funding liberal arts students together on the corner of SE Steele and 26th since April, 2012! It's also near Gigantic Brewing- YAY BEER!



The Breakfast Burrito


Price: $3.99

Ingredients: Egg, Cheese, Sausage

Size: Small

Sides: Red salsas


A very simple concoction- with fried egg over medium, standard american style sausage, and cheddar cheese. Wrapped and then sliced in half- the cheese stretches into endless strings as you pull the halves apart. Fun.

When I asked if the sausage was chorizo, I was told "yeah, something like that, it's very good." It could have been Jimmy Dean's for all I know, but it definitely wasn't spicy Mexican chorizo. But, it wasn't so bad- and it was cute and salty. The hot sauce was its saving grace.



The Rating:


2.9 outta 5

Not fantastic, not horrible.


Sunday, June 8, 2014

Los Taquitos Taqueria


Cute and Colorful Los Taquitos is located at 58th and NE Glisan Street- next to a gas station and entry onto the highway. Be careful not to unwittingly turn onto the ramp for the highway, as you will be sucked down 84 until the nearest exit in Hollywood. Haha...ha.

They have your typical Mexican grub, as well as many veggie options and other interesting entrees.

This place isn't too far from Mt Tabor, so I decided to have a burrito picnic overlooking Portland's poopy water supply. What better than a gorgeous June afternoon spent atop an extinct volcano, burrito in hand? Not much, not much at all.







Chile Relleno Burrito



Price: $5.50

Ingredients: Chile Relleno, Rice, Beans, Pico

Size: Large and in charge

Sides: Salsas, Pickled Carrots and Jalapenos. 



Ok, well, alright, uh, so...

Nothing really blew me away about this burrito. He wasn't bad, but he wasn't breathtaking either. Just your everyday ordinary run and the mill joe. I didn't laugh, didn't cry, didn't really feel anything. He wasn't tangy, spicy, hot, or saucy. The relleno was tender and eggy- but not too eggy. The beans were too pasty, yet had a nice hammy taste.. The salsa accompaniments weren't all that enticing either- the overly liquidy red was all heat with no flavor and the overly thick green was just... strange. It filled my hunger spot for a while, but left me ill with want. 

The Rating

2.8 out of 5

Who I go here again? 

Yes, there are many more burritos in the sea. Perhaps I would try the California burrito, which has steak and french fries on it... edgy.