El Nutri-Taco

El Nutri-Taco is a nondescript food cart at SE 84th and Woodstock. Yes, the one that's parked in someone's front yard. They can also be found on Alberta at 21st. They offer your standard Mexican fare, along with a lengthy and creative veggie/vegan menu. You can visit their rather humorous website to view the menus, and to scoff at the stock photos of Mexican food and happy people.

 

 

 Flamin' Burrito

Why do I subject myself to such gastrointestinal strife? The Flamin' Burrito... I mean, what did I expect? Why am I drawn to such foreboding menu items? Well, good people, I do it out of curiosity, desire, and most importantly, an eternal love for burritos. Oh yeah, and let's not forget stupidity.

Contents: tofu, beans, rice, cheese, pico, lettuce, grilled onions, sour cream, red hot sauce

Price: $6.00

Length: 6.5"

Circumference: 8.75"

Sides: red, green, and avocado sauce 


 I know what you're thinking: "Tofu? In a burrito? WTF! Blasphemy! I'm never going to read this blog again!" Settle down people, settle down. I am open to (almost) all burritos. My first tofu burrito experience, at Dos Gringos in Colorado, changed my life. This is Portland after all, so it's really not that strange. Anyway, on with the review!

The first couple of bites were actually rather bland. No fiery spices tickling my tastebuds at all! As I progressed, however, the heat came on. It was subtle at first, but then it kicked me right in the gullet! I was hungry, and wanted to cram it in my mouth faster, but I had to pace myself. By the last bite, my sinuses were nicely cleared. Apart from the heat, the ingredients were rather boring. A better balance between heat and general flavor was needed. The texture was engaging, with chewy tofu, crisp lettuce, chunky tomatoes, and creamy beans, but something was just... missing.

 

Rating

2 outta 5 stars

To speak straight from my gut, in the end, this burrito wasn't worth the trouble.

Will I go here again? Maybe if I'm ever stranded on 82nd St and can't find a Chinese restaurant.

Kiko's Taqueria Uruapan

Kiko's is located in Sellwood's food cart pod at SE 13th and Lexington. (GONE) I come here from time to time because it's close to where I work, and the burritos are generally pretty darn tasty. If you ever feel like taking a relaxing stroll around a quaint family neighborhood, and getting a good burrito in the meantime, I highly recommend this area.

The Fajita Burrito with Carnitas

Contents: carnitas, rice, beans, cheese, pico, grilled red and green bell peppers, mushrooms

Price: $5.50

Length: 6.75"

Circumference: 8"

Sides: red and green salsa





Upon taking my first bite, the words that came to mind were: sweet, salty, and savory. The carnitas was tender and juicy and had a subdued porky sweetness that flourished with each chew. This was complemented by the salty crunch of the grilled peppers and onions.  Bite after bite went on this way- carnitas and peppers, peppers and carnitas, with a nice layer of melted cheese and rice nestling it all in place. The pork itself lacked that crisp braised edge that carnitas often has, but I wouldn't say this negated from the burrito's overall texture. As I kept on munching, the carnitas dwindled, and more beans, rice, and pico began to spring up. By the end, it felt like I was eating a different burrito, but lucky for me, it still tasted good. The peppers made it through the entirety, but I only counted 2 bites of mushroom. Not the largest burrito, but just filling enough for a fat girl trapped in a skinny girl's body like me.

The Rating (outta 5)

Drum roll please...

3.7 stars

Perhaps if ingredient distribution was perfected and more mushrooms thrown in, I'd give it 4 stars. "Sticks to your teeth good!" Oh, and maybe it could be a litttttttle bit bigger! *wink*

Will I go here again? Why yes, yes I will.

The end.

La Bonita vs La Sirenita

Like the cliche goes: there are 2 kinds of people in the world- those who like La Bonita and those who like La Sirenita. These two restaurants, located between 28th and 29th ave on Alberta Street, have brought about much debate over the years. One is a seedy greasy spoon, the other is a hip hangout. Let's see how they compare in my book!

La Sirenita

La Bonita from La Sirenita (although all I can see is the man in the pink shirt)

 The Battle of the Chile Relleno Burritos

La Sirenita vs La Bonita

Upon first glance, La Bonita's burrito (on the right) appears more appetizing. The tortilla is flakier, and those little toasted circles are aesthetically appealing. However, it is loosely wrapped, which could lead to a potential burrito explosion! La Sirenita's, though not as visually pleasing, feels solid and well wrapped.

La Sirenita                                                                  

Contents: chile relleno, refried beans, rice, tomatoes, onion, cilantro

Price: $4.00                            

Sides: red and green sauce

A typical relleno burrito, not too eggy, lots of cheese, a little greasy. The pico was tasty, but not very prevalent. Very dense. The chile ran the length of the burrito, which is much appreciated. What could be worse than not getting to the chile until you're halfway through, or running out of it at the end? The tortilla was lacking, and a little on the sticky side. It wasn't super flavorful, and needed salsa to keep it interesting. Good price for what you receive though. 

 La Bonita

Contents: chile relleno, refried beans, rice, lettuce, cilantro, onion

Price: $5.95

Sides: red and green sauce

It started off well. The chile was stuffed with white cheese, perhaps cojita, which was creamy and delicate. The beans were also pretty tasty. As I kept on chomping, however, lettuce began taking over, until nearly every bite was a mouthful of iceberg. This isn't acceptable for a burrito pushing the $6 mark, or any burrito for that matter. In the end, it wasn't very gratifying and needed lots of hot sauce to keep it alive as well.

Ratings (outta 5):

La Sirenita's Burrito: 2.5 stars

La Bonita's Burrito: 2 stars

La Sirenita pulled out ahead! The cheaper price and lack of lettuce is what gave their burrito an extra half star. Ho hum, but neither of these burritos rocked my world. Both were totally uninspiring. I know there will always be die-hard fans of both places, and perhaps I just ordered the wrong burritos. As for now, I'm left feeling empty and destitute. I suppose I'll just settle down in my little hole in the world and wait for the next burrito craving to hit.

Perhaps I should open my own taqueria, and call it: "The Beautiful Little Mermaid" (La Sirenita Bonita). It will be a magical place where everyone just gets along.

Mi Mero Mole

5026 SE Division

Any business with a huge sign that simply reads "Tacos" is alright by me. The smell of Mexican spices permeating the air in all directions is also a good sign. They have a rotating menu, with varying guisados, which are traditional Mexican stews or stir-fries. You choose which one you'd like, and if you want it in tacos, as a plate, or in a burrito. Intriguing right? Check out their website to view all of their rotating concoctions. As my friend said, "I like how you come here not knowing what to expect." This was my first time here, and in good company.


The establishment itself was impressive. They offer a cozy inviting atmosphere, bad ass booze selection, and fast friendly service. But I'm not here to review that, NOW AM I?








I got to sample 4 different burritos, including:
Albondigas: Pork, beef, and ham meatballs stuffed with boiled egg and stewed in chipotle-tomato sauce
Pollo en Mole Verde: Chicken in green mole
Cerdo con Nopales en Chile Colorado: Pork and cactus in red chile sauce. 
Rajas con Crema: Roasted poblano chiles with sauteed onions in a sour cream and aged cheese sauce.

Rajas con Crema Burrito

 I'll focus on this one for my review.

Contents: (see above) plus black beans and rice

Price: $5.50

Sides: Red Sauce, smokey sauce, green sauce, pickled onions, chips and salsa ($2)

Size: Didn't get exact measurements, but it was a mid-range size- not too small, not enormous.

I had high expectations for a place boasting such evocative and unique dishes. If the description on the menu makes my mouth water, the food itself better be euphoric! The rajas con crema was lively and creamy, and the poblano chiles added a fair amount of piquancy. It also had a savory umami vibe from the aged cheese. However, the rice and beans in the burrito seemed to dull down the vibrant flavor of the sauce. The ingredients all tasted very fresh, and the tortillas are handmade on the spot. The salsas were very distinctive, from the smoky chipotle flavor of the red, to the crisp earthiness of the green. The chips were, as my friend said, "the best chips I've ever had." Overall, I could tell that a lot of work went into making this burrito, but I still longed for a bit more. Dare I say, that next time I'll try a guisado in tacos or as a plate, so that I can experience more of the flavor without the rice and beans holding it back? I do.

 

Rating:

I'm changing my rating system. Keeping it real with one overall rating out of 5 stars. Taste, size, and satisfaction are all taken into account, as well as price for the quality of ingredients you receive.

 My conclusion: 3.9 stars

Will I go here again? Hell yeah, can't wait to try more options.

Los Gorditos (food cart)

I've been to this food cart, on the corner of Division and 50th, more than I'd like to admit. It's never been mind-blowing, but they offer decent burritos. They are incredibly hyped, and are a mainstay in the vegan/vegetarian community. This is probably what first drew me here, because at one time or another I was vegetarian and still enjoy a nice veggie burrito. This time, however, I opted for something of a more carnivorous variety. Was this a mistake?

 

  The Super Stacy Burrito

Contents: refried beans, rice, cheese, 2 scoops red sauce, jalapeños, grilled onion, beef, raw onion, cilantro, and sour cream, grease

Price: $6.50

Sides: Super hot salsa, green salsa, orange salsa

Length: 7 inches

Circumference: 10 inches

I expected more flavor out of a burrito that claims to have 2 scoops of red sauce and jalapeños inside. Ingredient dispersion was quite off, as one bite contained most of the sour cream and another had an overabundance of red sauce. The vague term "beef" is a bit of a put off. And it was just that- beef. Nothing more to say about it. After a few bites, a steady stream of grease began dripping from the bottom of the tortilla, much to my dismay. The one thing that stood out in this burrito was the crunch of the raw onion, which is usually just a bonus in burrito land, not the only life saver. To add some kind words, the orange hot sauce is a tangy delight. However, sometimes a burrito is only as good as its hot sauce; take it away and you are left with a sad droopy clump of molecules. In the end, I couldn't finish this burrito because the last bites were too greasy and all beef.

Ratings

Taste: 2     Size: 5*     Satisfaction: 1    Overall: 1.5

Will I go here again? Yes, but not for this burrito.

*Sometimes you can have a huge burrito, but if the flavor isn't there, and it's just a greasy wannabe, then size just doesn't matter honey. Size just doesn't matter.

Super Torta

 

 5640 SE Woodstock           

The Chile Relleno Burrito

Some days I get the craving. I want it big, fast, and cheap. I want it stuffed with cheese and grease and deliciousness. These are the days I am a serious junkie, and find myself obsessing over when I can get my hands on one. I'm tired, I'm starving, and I've had a rough day. I need my fix, something that will send me into that deliriously euphoric burrito-infused intoxication. I make myself wait, because the longer you put it off, the more satisfying it'll be. This is the burrito for these situations. It's close to my house, and it has all of the above requirements.

This burrito is not for the faint of heart. In fact, I'm not even sure I should be recommending it. It might kill someone. I know it's killing me, albeit slowly. But don't be alarmed; it's worth every freaking awesome bite. Just make sure that you don't have much to do after you eat it, or the next day for that matter.

Contents: Chile Relleno stuffed with cheese, Refried Beans, Rice, Cheese, Pico, Grease, and Cheese

Price: $5.40

Sides: 2 red and 1 green salsa

Length: 7 inches

Circumference: 9.5 inches


This is one tasty monster

Ratings (outta 5)

Taste: 4.5
Size: 4.5
Satisfaction: 4.5

*Disclaimer*
This is quite the gut bomb, prepare yourself fool!


*UPDATE* 

You know, some days are better than others. Dropping it to 4 stars average, though I still love this place!

Neza

I've never been to Neza, a food cart on Hawthorne and 33rd, before today. I wanted my first review to be completely unbiased, with no preconceived notions on how this particular burrito should taste. I was delightfully surprised. My quest for the best burrito in Portland has begun!

 Asada Burrito from Neza

Contents: Asada, Pinto Beans, Pico de gallo, Rice, Cheese, Sour cream

Price: $5.50

Sides: Roasted Jalapeno, Red hot salsa

Length: 8 inches

The thinly sliced steak was the perfect texture. Juicy and subtle. A little greasy, but not too much. The first couple of bites in, I feared there might not be enough asada, but in another bite or 2, it was plentiful. The red hot salsa was also bursting with flavor, but the burrito stood well on its own. The fresh cool pico and sour cream brought it all together, making this one well rounded burrito. It wasn't as girthy as some burritos tend to be, but this is because it wasn't packed full of fillers like rice and lettuce, which I wholeheartedly appreciate. It was decently filling, but not food-coma huge. I would add more beans, but that's only because I loooooooove beans.

Ratings (out of 5 stars)

Taste: 4
Size: 3.5
Satisfaction: 4

Will I go there again? Yes.

Overall Rating: 3.9 stars